Letter of Wishes: Do You Need One?

What Is a Letter of Wishes and Should You Have One Alongside Your Will?

Most people have heard of a will. Far fewer know what a letter of wishes is – and yet it can play a really important role in making sure the people you leave behind have the guidance they need.

A will tells people what you want to happen to your estate. A letter of wishes tells them why, and so much more besides. It’s one of the least talked about aspects of estate planning, but for many families it makes all the difference.

In this article we cover what a letter of wishes is, when you need one, what to include, and some of the most common mistakes people make.

What Is a Letter of Wishes?

A letter of wishes is a document that sits alongside your will and provides guidance about how you would like certain matters to be handled after your death.

Your will is a legally binding document – provided it has been prepared and executed correctly. A letter of wishes is not. Instead, it provides guidance to the people you have appointed as your executors or trustees, helping them understand your intentions and wishes in a way that a formal legal document simply can’t capture.

It can be particularly valuable where your executors or trustees have discretion over certain decisions and need some steer on how you’d like that discretion exercised.

What Is the Difference Between a Will and a Letter of Wishes?

A will dictates what happens to your estate and is enforceable in law. A letter of wishes sits alongside it – guiding and explaining, but never overriding the will itself.

Put simply, a will covers the what. A letter of wishes covers the how, the why, and the who – in much more human terms.

Neither replaces the other. They work best together, and a letter of wishes is particularly important where your will creates a trust, you have minor children, or you want to explain why you’ve chosen to distribute your estate in the way you have.

Person handwriting a personal letter of wishes with a dip pen

What Can You Include in a Letter of Wishes?

A letter of wishes isn’t required in every situation, and there’s no single template that works for everyone. That said, here are some of the most common and useful things people include.

Guidance for Trustees

If your will creates a trust, your trustees will have discretion over how assets are managed and distributed. A letter of wishes can explain how you’d like them to exercise that discretion – giving them a clear idea of what you’d be happy for your beneficiaries to spend the money on.

Without one, those decisions are entirely theirs to make. With one, they have your steer. For example, you might suggest that trust funds should be available to help beneficiaries with things like:

Driving lessons and purchasing their first car
Education or university costs
Buying their first home
Significant health or care needs
Other major life events

The trustees aren’t legally bound to follow this guidance, but most will take it seriously.

Personal Possessions and Sentimental Items

Your will might leave personal belongings to your executors or trustees with discretion over how they should be distributed. A letter of wishes can then set out who you’d like to receive particular items – jewellery, furniture, photographs, collections, and anything else that holds sentimental value.

This is often easier than rewriting your will every time your possessions or preferences change.

Funeral and End of Life Wishes

A letter of wishes is a natural place to record your funeral preferences – whether you’d prefer to be buried or cremated, where you’d like the service to take place, any music or readings you’d like included, or particular wishes about the ceremony.

These wishes aren’t legally binding, but writing them down provides valuable guidance for your family at what is already a very difficult time. It’s also worth noting that wills are often not read until after the funeral – a letter of wishes ensures these preferences are known in time.

Guidance on Children and Guardianship

If you’ve appointed guardians for your children, a letter of wishes gives you the opportunity to share your hopes for how they’ll be raised – educational preferences, values you’d like passed on, religious upbringing. It’s guidance a guardian can draw on, and it’s particularly useful for blended families or where family dynamics are complex.

Explanation of Your Decisions

Sometimes a will raises questions – particularly if different family members are receiving different amounts. A letter of wishes can provide the context behind those decisions.

For example, if one child has already received substantial financial help during your lifetime, a carefully written letter of wishes can explain that. It won’t always prevent difficult conversations, but it can go a long way towards reducing confusion and misunderstanding between family members after you’ve gone.

Digital Assets and Accounts

For younger generations especially, digital assets are increasingly significant. A letter of wishes can provide guidance on accessing digital accounts and online assets, as well as instructions on what you’d like to happen to social media accounts, email accounts, subscriptions and cryptocurrency wallets.

Specific passwords and security details should be stored securely and separately – but the letter of wishes can reference where to find them.

A Personal Message

Some people use their letter of wishes to leave a final message to the people they love. Words of gratitude, encouragement, or simply letting someone know how much they meant to you.

It has no legal relevance whatsoever – but it’s something many families treasure long after everything else has been dealt with.

Is a Letter of Wishes Legally Binding?

Generally, no – and that’s actually one of its strengths.

Because a letter of wishes isn’t legally binding, your executors and trustees should take it into account but aren’t required to follow it to the letter. That might initially sound like a disadvantage, but flexibility is often exactly the point.

If trustees have discretion, they can consider the circumstances at the time rather than being tied to instructions written years or even decades earlier. Life changes – and a letter of wishes allows the people you’ve trusted to act in a way that reflects that.

Is a Letter of Wishes Legally Binding?

Generally, no – and that’s actually one of its strengths.

Who Should You Address a Letter of Wishes To?

There’s no fixed format, and it can be addressed to one or several people depending on your situation:

Your executors – those responsible for administering your estate
Your trustees – if your will creates a trust
Your guardians – if you have children and have named guardians
Your family – if you want to leave personal messages or explanation of your decisions

When Should You Write a Letter of Wishes?

Ideally at the same time as your will – the two are natural companions and work best when prepared together.

It should be reviewed whenever you review your will, and updated when circumstances change – a new child, a change in a relationship, significant new assets, or a shift in your wishes. Unlike your will, a letter of wishes doesn’t need to be witnessed, so updating it is straightforward.

Keep it with your will so your executors can find it – and make sure they know it exists.

Does a Letter of Wishes Need to Be Witnessed or Signed?

There’s no legal requirement for witnesses. But it should be signed and dated to make clear it reflects your current wishes, and it’s sensible to do this on the same day you sign your will.

Review and re-date it regularly – even if nothing has changed, a fresh date confirms the letter still reflects your wishes. Store it with your will, or ask your solicitor to hold a copy for safekeeping. And tell your executors it exists and where to find it.

Who Is a Letter of Wishes Particularly Useful For?

A letter of wishes is especially important if:

Your will includes a trust – in this case it’s essential rather than optional
You have young children and have appointed guardians
You’re part of a blended family with complex family dynamics
You have strong views about your funeral arrangements
You want to reduce the risk of disputes between family members after you’re gone
You have significant personal possessions or digital assets you want to direct

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Not writing one at all is the most common mistake – and for the reasons above, it can leave your executors and trustees without the guidance they need to act in the way you’d have wanted.

Keeping it somewhere your executors won’t find it is another. Store it with your will and make sure the right people know where your important documents are kept.

Including instructions that contradict your will is something to avoid – your will takes precedence as the legally binding document, so any conflict between the two can cause confusion. If something is important enough to be legally enforceable, it belongs in the will itself, not the letter of wishes.

And not updating it when circumstances change means the guidance it provides may no longer be relevant or accurate. Review it regularly.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is a letter of wishes legally binding?
No. A letter of wishes provides guidance to your executors and trustees but doesn’t legally require them to act in a particular way. Your will is the legally binding document.

Does a letter of wishes need to be witnessed?
No – unlike a will, a letter of wishes doesn’t need to be witnessed. That said, it’s sensible to sign it on the same day you sign your will and to keep it dated and up to date.

Can I write a letter of wishes without a solicitor?
Yes – and it should be in your own words. However, it’s worth taking professional advice to make sure it doesn’t conflict with your will and that it covers everything you want it to.

What happens if my letter of wishes contradicts my will?
Your will takes precedence as it’s the legally binding document. If something is important, always update your will rather than just the letter of wishes.

How often should I update my letter of wishes?
It should be reviewed whenever there are significant changes in your circumstances, or in the circumstances of the people who might benefit from a trust in your will.

Where should I keep my letter of wishes?
With your will – somewhere safe and accessible for your executors. Your solicitor can also hold a copy alongside your will.

Can I include funeral wishes in my letter of wishes?
Yes – though they’re not legally binding, so it’s worth discussing your wishes with family members as well so they’re aware of them.

What is the difference between a letter of wishes and a will?
A will is legally binding and sets out who will inherit from your estate. A letter of wishes provides guidance to your executors in line with your will. It’s generally easier to update – which is why more people are using them as part of their estate planning.

A Small Document That Makes a Big Difference

A letter of wishes is one of the most personal and thoughtful things you can put in place for the people you leave behind. It won’t replace a properly drafted will – but alongside one, it gives your executors, trustees and family the clarity and context they need to carry out your wishes the way you’d have wanted.

At Liberay Legal, our private client team helps clients across Bolton prepare wills and letters of wishes that genuinely work together. Led by Lisa Kirk, Head of Private Client, we offer plain English advice on what to include, how to structure it, and how to make sure it does what it’s supposed to do.

We can also hold a copy of your letter of wishes alongside your will for safekeeping.

Get in touch today for a free initial consultation – no obligation, no jargon, just straightforward advice when you need it.